Monthly Archives: November 2013

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My Greatest Enemy

Who am I? What’s my worth? Where do I belong? Do people see me? Why is my soul so restless? Why am I so eager to find myself?

These are some of the questions that we want answered. We may not ask these questions directly but instead seek for the answers through our actions. We all seek for the answers in different ways. Some seek it in money, some in relationships, some in success, fame, & the list goes on. Many of us struggle with our identities, some more than others. We all want to be loved. We want to be known and remembered. We want to find who we are.

What happens when you start approaching this identity in a wrong way? What happens when you stop having hope? And what if, you begin to tell yourself you will not amount to anything? You will never have your own family? You will always struggle with this addiction? You will always be afraid? You will never be loved? You will not succeed? What happens when you become your greatest enemy?

I have become my greatest enemy.

Over the years, I have told myself negatives which have caused great pain. A pain so crippling that you avoid going to places, stop believing in yourself, & start believing the lies that you’ve told yourself. At first, they seemed harmless. They were used in small areas and then eventually in every day life. It was meant to deflect other negatives but instead it has taken control of me.

So, what now? Is this the end of it? No, there is hope. Jesus is my hope, my strength, & my longing. The only one who can complete me.

God has been trying to get my attention for so long regarding the lies I’ve been telling myself but I wasn’t listening. I kept thinking that God has forgotten about me. What a fool I was? He was always there; it was me who wasn’t ready to listen. I am listening…

Because I allowed my thoughts of negativity to become so easy and comforting that trying to break the habit of speaking negatives over myself is going to be challenging. It will require me to listen to what I am thinking about, pay careful attention to my thoughts. Is my thought negative? I must distinguish the lies and speak it no more over myself. A fight for truth, truth that comes from God alone.

I am a creation of God. I am a King’s daughter. Someone loves me so much that He gave His life for me. I am precious. I was known before I was born. He knows my name. I am always on His mind. I am never left alone. (Isaiah 43; Psalm 139) My true identity, the thing that is restless within me, the longing, the answers that I’ve been seeking all my life is found in Christ.

I am overwhelmed by His Love.

“If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.” –God (Jeremiah 29:13 NLT)

Recommended Worship Song: The More I Seek You by Kari Jobe

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Finding Identity Through God’s Word

Isaiah 43 New Living Translation (NLT) Source: BibleGateway

43 But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you.
O Israel, the one who formed you says,
“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
    I have called you by name; you are mine.
2 When you go through deep waters,
    I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
    you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
    you will not be burned up;
    the flames will not consume you.
3 For I am the Lord, your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom;
I gave Ethiopia[a] and Seba in your place.
4 Others were given in exchange for you.
I traded their lives for yours
because you are precious to me.
You are honored, and I love you.

5 “Do not be afraid, for I am with you.
I will gather you and your children from east and west.
6 I will say to the north and south,
‘Bring my sons and daughters back to Israel
from the distant corners of the earth.
7 Bring all who claim me as their God,
for I have made them [you] for my glory.
It was I who created them [you].’”

8 Bring out the people who have eyes but are blind,
who have ears but are deaf.
9 Gather the nations together!
Assemble the peoples of the world!
Which of their idols has ever foretold such things?
Which can predict what will happen tomorrow?
Where are the witnesses of such predictions?
Who can verify that they spoke the truth?

10 “But you are my witnesses, O Israel!” says the Lord.
“You are my servant.
You have been chosen to know me, believe in me,
    and understand that I alone am God.
There is no other God—
    there never has been, and there never will be.
11 I, yes I, am the Lord,
    and there is no other Savior.
12 First I predicted your rescue,
then I saved you and proclaimed it to the world.
No foreign god has ever done this.
You are witnesses that I am the only God,”
says the Lord.
13 “From eternity to eternity I am God.
No one can snatch anyone out of my hand.
    No one can undo what I have done.”

The Lord’s Promise of Victory

14 This is what the Lord says—your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:

“For your sakes I will send an army against Babylon,
forcing the Babylonians[b] to flee in those ships they are so proud of.
15 I am the Lord, your Holy One,
Israel’s Creator and King.
16 I am the Lord, who opened a way through the waters,
making a dry path through the sea.
17 I called forth the mighty army of Egypt
with all its chariots and horses.
I drew them beneath the waves, and they drowned,
their lives snuffed out like a smoldering candlewick.

18 “But forget all that—
it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
19 For I am about to do something new.
    See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
20 The wild animals in the fields will thank me,
the jackals and owls, too,
for giving them water in the desert.
Yes, I will make rivers in the dry wasteland
so my chosen people can be refreshed.
21 I have made Israel for myself,
and they will someday honor me before the whole world.

22 “But, dear family of Jacob, you refuse to ask for my help.
    You have grown tired of me, O Israel!
23 You have not brought me sheep or goats for burnt offerings.
You have not honored me with sacrifices,
though I have not burdened and wearied you
with requests for grain offerings and frankincense.
24 You have not brought me fragrant calamus
or pleased me with the fat from sacrifices.
Instead, you have burdened me with your sins
and wearied me with your faults.

25 “I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake
    and will never think of them again.
26 Let us review the situation together,
and you can present your case to prove your innocence.
27 From the very beginning, your first ancestor sinned against me;
all your leaders broke my laws.
28 That is why I have disgraced your priests;
I have decreed complete destruction[c] for Jacob
and shame for Israel.

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Think About It

“I want some soul-deep security drawn from a source that never runs dry and never disparages us for requiring it”

Beth Moore

This quote is from Beth Moore’s book called So Long Insecurity. I feel like this is what many women want; this is what I want but we look for it in the wrong places. This can only be found in Jesus Christ. This is my goal, to search for this in Him, my Savior.

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Identity in Christ 2

Great church service today =)

The message added to my current learning from God. Identity. Identity is such a need for us humans. We are constantly trying to figure out who we are and where we belong. We keep searching for it in the wrong places that’s why we are never satisfied.

I can go on forever with this because I struggle with it myself. I am not proud to admit that I’ve searched for my identity in places that God didn’t want me to go. Though I may have failed in recognizing this earlier, God is using this situation to mold and shape the next stages of my life (no matter how painful or hard it may be).

Going back to the message at church which was titled: “You’re called to Become Like Jesus”.

As I listened to the message, I knew the message was for me. Even in my obedient listening, I could feel a battle raging in my mind to think thoughts of ungodly nature. It tried to steer my attention from God’s message and focus it on myself (Issue with identity, yet again). I kept trying to focus back on what the pastor was saying and trying to take notes to avoid the negative thoughts that seemed so aggressive. Finally after some while, I was fully engaged in the message. Thank God.

Hebrews 12 was the highlight for the pastor’s sermon. In my own understanding, I took the pieces and thought about what God was saying to me.

I am called to be like Jesus. Wow, I am no where near that. Becoming like Christ, the pastor translated these words into maturing in your faith. The question for me: What in your life is holding you back from growing in Christ? Heb 12:1 says that we ought to strip off those things that hold us back. I know what’s holding me back…my singleness & my constant battle with insecurity. I am working on these with God.

Heb 12:1 continues to say “Let us run with patience the particular race that God has set before us”. God is not in a hurry to fix me up or bring instant maturity in me. This will take time. It is comforting to know that God is there with me as I work through these struggles with him. The pastor stated, “Keep yourself focused on Jesus daily”. I know I don’t always keep Jesus in the center of my daily routine. When I get to work, I am only thinking about work unless a problem occurs and I need God’s help. Isn’t it funny, we only seek God when we need something? Why can’t we stay focused on Jesus daily? Why does everything else takes priority over Jesus? We shouldn’t allow worldly distractions to steer us away from our walk. We need to stay focused on God.

In the pastor’s last points, he says that God doesn’t want us to do life alone. We should seek godly friends to encourage and walk with us. We should know that God is for us and he has a purpose for our lives. If we look at Jesus’ life, we will see these very things he lived by. Jesus lived his life for God; he was always around people, and he was never in a rush to get somewhere.

Let us walk the path that God has set before us. Let us seek out godly friends so that we do not try to walk alone. And be patient with God, the healing/change will not happen overnight. It will take time. Lastly, stay focused on Jesus daily.

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Identity 1

In last post, I talked about my identity in Christ.

How do I find my identity in Christ? What does God say about me? And how do I keep my focus on God’s identity of me and not of the world?

I want to explore these questions for myself because the world’s identity depicts so many things that a person can drown in them. I know I cannot answer these all in one post so there may be several short pieces as I explore the Bible.

Exploring Identity

Over the years, we have become people who want quick and visual answers. Everywhere you look, there is some type of ad about beauty, food, products, etc. The ads are always short (to-the-point) and of course visually appealing. Though this totally makes sense from a marketing perspective but some how we have applied this concept to our lives. We want quick and visual answers and we also respond this way and communicate this way. Some where in this concept, we began accepting the worldly views as our identity. Such as: wearing this brand, using this makeup, applying this cream to look younger, eating this food for diet, driving this car, getting the high position at work, & the list goes on. There is nothing wrong with any of these. It is a problem when they start becoming your focus, the thing you live for (the idol).

What is identity? Simply…it is who we are. It tells others who we are. If it tells people who we are, then shouldn’t the first thing be Christ? Yes, but not in the sense that I verbally declare to every person I meet that I am a Christian. It is not to simply declare you’re a believer but live it. The pharisees were believers of God but they had their eyes fixed on legalization.

I truly believe that the key to finding our identity is understanding Christ’s identity first. When I think about Christ’s identity, the first thing that comes to my mind is LOVE. He was full of love, to the rich & poor alike. He did not treat one favorably and not the other. He was fair.

If I look at my life, am I full of love, without bias and treat others fairly? I wish I could say yes but that would be a lie. I have failed at times. And the reasons for failing is not that I don’t like others, it is usually of selfish reasons. I’m sure of it. If I was rude to someone, it is probably because of some reason that involved the word “I” in it.

Though I barely touched on the questions, I want to end here with a verse & question.

“Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had.”   Philippians 2:5 (NLT)

Question for your own thinking: Does your attitude reflect Christ?

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Identity in Christ

“Your identity is found in me,” says the Lord.

These were the words that kept repeating in my mind all day.

There was a reason that God kept reminding me this. That evening, I didn’t want to be home alone and to avoid a pity party, I decided to go out with a friend. It was a challenge for me. But I went out with this friend anyway. We were enjoying ourselves but I kept struggling with thoughts of jealousy. I started comparing myself with her life. I started wondering what she had that I didn’t have…and the thought continued in this direction.

Then, I remembered what God had been saying to me all day. My emotions wanted to take control but I knew that this was not who I was and having those things wasn’t going to satisfy me. Because my identity, my meaning, my worth are found in Christ alone.

We live in a world that constantly tells us what our identity should look like. It is tough trying to battle the worldly views. But God calls us to be the light of the world. This is another lesson God is teaching me. Teaching me to stop making the worldly things (idols) the center of your life. Your identity should be in Christ and him alone.